Do you have days where your insecurities will not leave you alone?
“You’re stupid. No one thinks you’re beautiful. People don’t like you. You’re a failure. You’ll never do anything right. No one will ever love you,” and on and on…
Most of us have this inner voice speaking these falsehoods on a regular basis. Even though we experience joys, achievements, and celebrations, we continue to feel inadequate.
Insecurity is very commonplace, even for individuals who seem incredibly confident. Underneath the facade, you will find uncertainty and doubt.
Did you know we are called a narcissistic generation? Technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. The selfie – hello! Along with the usage of social media comes the constant struggle with comparison. Social media has a way of portraying all of the fun, exciting, and adventurous aspects of a person. However, it is a poor representation of reality and the struggles we all face.
Countless poor decisions are made from nothing more than insecurity. Sometimes we find ourselves doing things we would never do otherwise, all in an attempt to be accepted and liked. Many of us will do whatever it takes to be recognized by others, even if that means negative attention.
So how do we overcome insecurity? Robert W. Firestone, author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, says there are five important steps to overcome this inner voice.
- Step 1 – Vocalize your critical thoughts in the second person. For example, if you think, “I am so stupid,” vocalize or write down, “you are so stupid.”
- Step 2 – Reflect on where these thoughts may be coming from. Do they remind you of anyone or anything from your past? It is helpful to uncover the relationship between the voice attacks and your early life experiences.
- Step 3 – Write down realistic statements about who you really are. This could be hard at first because we can become so accustomed to the negative self-talk. Respond to them like you would if a friend was being attacked by these statements: with compassion and understanding.
- Step 4 – Start to make a connection between how the voice attacks are affecting your present day behaviors: relationships, work, school, etc.
- Step 5 – Make a plan to change the behaviors. For example, if these self-critical thoughts are keeping you from initiating a new friendship, it’s time to go ahead and do so anyways.
It will be difficult to change your critical inner voice at first, but with practice and persistence, you can overcome the negative thoughts by being proactive with the truth about who you really are. You have value and worth.
At Clarity Pregnancy Services and Clarity Testing Clinic, we often find teens, women and men who have struggled with insecurity. As a result, they have placed themselves in situations that have resulted in a pregnancy or STI scare. Know that when you come to Clarity for confidential help, you’ll receive more than a test. You’ll find individuals with compassionate hearts and listening ears. We are here to help remind you that you have value and worth. You matter, despite what situation you’re facing.